I hear this over and over again, "What are your goals for the summer." I keep thinking about what I want to accomplish, and finally some things start coming to mind.

• Be more open with my parents (toughest by far).
• Have a Thesis topic by the end of the summer with good sources.
• Try to get my life in order.
• Find someone I'm not afraid to talk to if all else fails with my parents.
• At least place once at a competition.
• Get my license.
• Work at least seven days a week.
• Follow up to the previous one: Find as much time as possible to spend with friends
• Figure out what the heck is up with J. before he leaves.

Those are just a couple that I came up with; I'm sure there will be more as the summer progresses. Who knows if I'll be able to accomplish them all by the end of summer, but I'm willing to give it my best.

What are your goals this summer?

I don't mean after you die, but more after you leave high school. This is the summer of my Senior year, and I have to face all sorts of questions. The biggest one is: How will I be remembered? I have some big shoes to fill thanks to the Class of 2009. I love them to death and wish they weren't leaving, and, yet, I'm eager to take my place as a Senior. Not only am I eager, but I'm also scared. A lot of change has to take place over the summer. I have to abandon my "Loner" status. I can't sit back passively and watch my Senior year go by without leaving my mark.

I now have to get to know everyone in the secondary. This means the annoying sevies and wedgies. I can't stand junior high immaturity, so we'll see how this goes. I have to get outside of my comfort zone and be a leader. It has pissed me off so much that M. (a girl in my class) has gotten all the attention. She's the go-to-girl. To be honest, no one really notices what I notice: Her whole show is somewhat fake. Now I didn't come on here to disrespect a classmate, but to tell you what I'm up against. I'm the scary, silent type. You see me walk down the halls, and I don't have a smile plastered to my face. When my face is relaxed, I look like I'm about to kill people. I can't really help that one. But that's what people assume: That I'm mad at everyone. They don't know me. So this summer is a perfect time to let the secondary get to know the real LonelyHeart. Well --they'll know me to a certain extent. No one really knows me. Not even M., who's known me for the past ten years.

But I don't want this year to be a big rivalry between M. and I. I don't want it to be that way; although, to some extent she's already made it that way. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?
My second concern is the Junior class --my sister's class. I'm not really concerned about her, but more three other girls in that class. They're the ones who will try to take over the Senior position, and that can't happen.

I'm just nervous about so much changing, and so quickly too. I have to do a complete 180 if this next school year is going to be my year. I'm excited and scared. Part of me says, "Bring it on," and part of me says,"Holy crap! What am I getting in to?" It all comes down to how do I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered as someone who was fun to hang out with, but someone you could turn to for anything. I don't want to be that person who people feel was just putting on a show: I don't want to be fake. I want other students to look at me and say that they were glad they knew me; that somehow I changed they're lives a little bit. I want so much from my Senior year.

How do I get it all done?

Right now I'm putting off writing a paper on Uncle Tom's Cabin: I'm tired, and the creative juice just aren't flowing. This weekend has been a busy one. Saturday I had a competition, and right after my last dance I had to book it to Drama. We were practicing some of our dances in a studio, so we could see ourselves in the mirrors. The rehearsal was really fun; I'm just exhausted and sore.

For some reason I've been thinking about life after high school. It's probably because there's less then three months till school's done, SATs are coming, and since the summer is almost here, it's time to find a job. There are certain goals I've set for myself this summer: 1. Get a good paying job 2. Somehow make it to Tennessee. My sister potentially just got an amazing nannying job this summer, and I'm thinking about doing the same thing. I've been a nanny before, so it's right up my ally. Going to Tennessee serves two purposes, USIR is being held there this year, and it would give me a chance to meet P. (it's been awhile since I brought him up).

I'm considering being a live-in nanny because that would open up job opportunities, but we'll see what my parents think.

Now for what's been on my mind for a long time. I've always wanted to move somewhere different after college. It's time for a change, and I can always come back home if things really don't work out. I'm really thinking about moving to Texas. This is partly because my sister already lives there: At least I wont be so alone and helpless. Plus, I could live with her until I got settled down.

Why Texas? I really don't have any other reasons for going there of all places. It being warm there definitely helps. The idea just feels right. My parents wont exactly be thrilled, but I still have time to get things all figured out. I don't have to have everything planned out this second.