Friday, March 12, 2010

Getting into Character.

The life of a senior leaves no time for blogging =/. The good news is two trimesters down; one to go. I cannot wait for June 3! Finals week was once again a serious killer, but I did what I could. One upside is once I'm done with school I'm going to Europe for two weeks. Bring on the cute Italian boys haha. I just have to make it through the next three months with a serious case of senioritis and a new love for cutting class. It also doesn't help that my mom had be try on my graduation gown. What I want to know it what drug addict thought up those hats.

But anywho, the real reason I'm on here now is something I've recently noticed about myself. Lately, my rhetoric teacher has been having us present a speech or poem or dramatic monologue every Friday so my class gets used to being in front of an audience. This is preparation for the senior thesis (an insane 10-13 page paper that we have to present in front of a large audience from a one page outline, and then answer questions from the judging panel). By far the best thing I've presented is The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe --my favorite poem. I really got into it. Well lately the comment has been made that I do a good job of getting into character. When I get up in front of the audience, I am no longer myself. And I like that.

I don't know why it's easier for me to pretend to be someone else, and I can't be myself. When I'm myself . . . it's just not enough. I'm too nervous just to be plan old me. March 6th my school had a talent show, I finally got the courage to sign up and perform. I sang A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton, and my sister played the piano for me. The dress rehearsal was a complete disaster. I usually don't sing with a microphone, but this time I had to because the song was getting in the lower range for me. And because of choir, I'm usually holding a binder, so I had no idea what to do with my body. Pitiful, I know. So the day of the talent show, I gave myself a character to be, and the song was a smashing success after a few changes to the song.

I'm probably in need of a serious confidence boost. I'm afraid insecurity has gotten the better of me.

Oh, I saw Alice and Wonderland when it came on Friday, and I LOVED IT! Tim Burton is an absolute genius. The acting was amazing. I left the theater acutally wishing I could go to Wonderland....


AJ said...

Hi I just began following your blog and you were talking about how your insecure. I can relate! i'm on a journey to lose weight and i know what insecurity feels like! keep your head held high!

Roland D. Yeomans said...

Just blog-surfing and enjoyed your postings. Oscar Wilde wrote : Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

A mask or Poe's poem or even sunglasses serve as a safe barrier between you and others. That's the old counselor in me.

Another quote I wished I had run across when I was a high school senior is from Bette Midler :

"I didn't belong as a kid, and that always bothered me. If only I'd known that one day my differentness would be an asset, then my early life would have been much easier."

If you're of a mind, come check out my blog : WRITING IN THE CROSSHAIRS {getting things into focus is important not only in shooting but in writing as well -- and life for that matter.}

Good luck with all the madness that is senior year, Roland

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Dane said...

Enjoyed the post! Maybe you should look into a career in acting! Then you would never have to be yourself! lol j/k. Being yourself is a great thing. You just have to learn to be comfortable in your own skin.