I really can't believe what just happened; I feel so bad for my sister. In my last post, I told you all that she potentially got this amazing nannying job this summer. Plans were being finalized, and things looked like they were going to work out perfectly. The family was from London, and they were coming over to edit a film. Then the woman, Sara(h) Wilson, was going to send my sister a check from which she was going to deduct her first months pay and wire the rest back to Sara(h)'s agent.

My dad started to think something was up. Who would let their one year old some be watched five days a week at a complete stranger's house? As it turns out, something was up.

At work this morning, My dad started talking to one of his co-workers about the situation: He thought something something was up too, so he started to check things out. The whole nanny job was a complete scam. The website my sister posted the ad on has recently had a lot of problems with this. My dad's boss look at the check, and there were numbers missing on the bottom. If my sister would have cashed the check, and sent to remaining amount to the agent, the check would have bounced. My sister would have have owed the bank a lot of money that she doesn't have.

We're so lucky we caught this when we did. I'm am so angry about this right now. This is another prime example of the depravity of human nature. You can't trust anyone, and I would really like to trust people. I trust people till they give me a reason not to. And my dad is reminding all of us that you have to be a little suspicious of people you meet.

Right now I'm putting off writing a paper on Uncle Tom's Cabin: I'm tired, and the creative juice just aren't flowing. This weekend has been a busy one. Saturday I had a competition, and right after my last dance I had to book it to Drama. We were practicing some of our dances in a studio, so we could see ourselves in the mirrors. The rehearsal was really fun; I'm just exhausted and sore.

For some reason I've been thinking about life after high school. It's probably because there's less then three months till school's done, SATs are coming, and since the summer is almost here, it's time to find a job. There are certain goals I've set for myself this summer: 1. Get a good paying job 2. Somehow make it to Tennessee. My sister potentially just got an amazing nannying job this summer, and I'm thinking about doing the same thing. I've been a nanny before, so it's right up my ally. Going to Tennessee serves two purposes, USIR is being held there this year, and it would give me a chance to meet P. (it's been awhile since I brought him up).

I'm considering being a live-in nanny because that would open up job opportunities, but we'll see what my parents think.

Now for what's been on my mind for a long time. I've always wanted to move somewhere different after college. It's time for a change, and I can always come back home if things really don't work out. I'm really thinking about moving to Texas. This is partly because my sister already lives there: At least I wont be so alone and helpless. Plus, I could live with her until I got settled down.

Why Texas? I really don't have any other reasons for going there of all places. It being warm there definitely helps. The idea just feels right. My parents wont exactly be thrilled, but I still have time to get things all figured out. I don't have to have everything planned out this second.

I just got off the phone with K., and that was without a doubt the worst conversation I've ever had. I don't get what's with him. Here's some of the things that happened: He told me he wanted to see The Watchmen, and I adviced him not to. My older sister just saw it and told me all it was just a bunch of blood and sex. Knowing K. didn't want anything to do with sex right now, I told him what my sister told me. Immediately he said he was definitely going to see it now. "Hold up...what?!" That didn't make any sense, so I asked him why he would see it if he's trying to reform his life. "I'm still a guy..." "I'M STILL A GUY?! You've got to be kidding me," I thought. If you're trying not to have certain thoughts, then why would you go and see a movie with sexual content?



"It takes time, Lonely Heart. Change isn't going to happen in one week." I of all people know that. But you can start by not watching (I'm just going to call it what it is) porn. So the whole time I'm listening to him thinking, "He's a hypocrite." I didn't tell him that, yet now I'm thinking I should have. After that, he started calling me a lesbian. "So now he has to be rude." He said he was only kidding cause he knows I'm not, but why say something like that?

On another note, here's a song I started listening to and loved it immediately.

Well I'm in for an insanely busy week: Drama is five days a week now from 3-6, and some how I'll have to fit dance in on Tuesday and Thursday from 6-8. Oh and maybe fit homework somewhere in there.

Ugh I haven't been on in forever. I blame it all on finals, which took up all my time. The jury is still out on how I did on all of them though. This week has been tough, and it has definitely pushed me to my limits. By Thursday I was so out of it, and it was hilarious. I actually walked into a door after mentally telling myself I needed to open it. I'm just so glad they're over, but even with them being over there was no time to catch up on sleep. For the first time in Lonely Heart history, I went to a school fling thing. There was no guilt tripping involved; it was my choice.

The high school and junior high went to the high school basketball tournament and then bowling. It was a blast! I suck at bowling: I should win an award for most consecutive gutter balls. I almost got run over in the parking lot: I think God's trying to tell me something haha.Then I went back to a friends house with three other girls, and we watched The Incredible Hulk because we love Edward Norton. I slept through the first half of the movie haha.

The next day we all helped M. take care of the kids see was babysitting, and once they left it was time to get ready for drama. We're still working on choreography for all the songs. After that it was back to M's house to eat dinner and then leave to go to another basketball game. We went all out for this game. I put face paint on some of the girls' faces, so there was a bunch of us walking around with hand prints across our faces. I lost my voice cheering, and the gym was packed. Unfortunately, we lost, but it was still a lot of fun.

I have so much homework that I need to catch up on, and I really don't want to do it. After choosing to actually have a life for once, I'm finding it hard to give it up again for a life centered around school. I just have to make it through three more months.

I think we all have certain songs that we feel are pretty much written just for us. Every word in the lyrics matches your life. Well I have come across one of those songs recently, and I thought I would share it with you all.

What are some of the songs that describe you?

Update: Right now I'm feeling under the weather: My head is killing me and my nose is all runny =/. Of course I get sick at the best time; finals are this week.

I feel a little better emotionally since my last blog. I completely broke yesterday and ended up talking to my younger sister of all people. She helped a lot. I'm coming to terms with things now, and I'm slowly starting to reform my life I guess you could say. I know it's going to take some time before I ever feel 100% again, but I'm happier now.

As for K., we've talked twice, and we haven't talked since. It still hurts, but it might be time to move on, and I'm just glad he was in my life. There was obviously a reason why he entered my life when he did. We'll see how things end up.