Monday, November 16, 2009

Back to Square One.

Life was good, exciting, passionate. I was finally busy with school --still am. The last couple months have been better than I could have imaged all because of a boy. It happens to be my ex, and after two years I finally realized he's been there all along waiting for me to notice. But here I am once more telling you how bad things have gotten.

My boy and I are madly in love; it's as simple as that. I've been against the whole idea of getting married until now, and I've found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. We've even talked about it. And why is that so bad you may ask. The thing is we never really told our parents until a week ago. I don't know how many of you are familiar with courting, but it's the type of thing my religion advocates over recreational dating. Courting implies you go to the girl's dad first and ask permission to start pursue his daughter. We kinda skipped that step.

Through a certain event his parents found out. Not good. A meeting was set up between my dad, my boy, and his dad. My dad said yes to the relationship, but both dads wanted to slow things way down. Basically that means put the whole thing on pause for the next two or three years. There is to be no touching. No texting or callling each other. And even thought the parents won't admit it, no hanging out either (even in a group).

This past week has been one of the hardest. Separation isn't an easy thing. He's my best friend too, and now I can't even talk to him about anything that's going on. Most nights I cry myself to sleep because I feel so empty.

Life was looking up --it's about to get worse.


Lenore said...

I am soooo sorry to hear all this

I've been feeling empty lately as well...I feel like life is pushing down on me...but the important thing is to have that will to get back up.

This must be sooooo hard for you I'm sure. As you know my mom is very strict on dating...she freaks out when i talk about even simply touching a hug! But I don't really know how it feels to truly want to spend the rest of your life with someone...that must be something very special.

Have you tried having a long talk with your dad? Maybe tell him that the first month or so that you date it has to be around your parents? Then when he feels ready he can let you guys sorta be on your own...i dunno. But if theres anything I can do to help, I'm right here, k?

When life looks down again...keep your head looking up. Even if the clouds are covering the sunlight...they'll clear up soon. I mean...just look back on all the times that they did. It has to happen again :)