Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Downfall of Getting

In my English class, we were discussing the idea of Courtly Love. To the medieval knight, loving a woman didn't mean entering into some kind of physical relationship. In fact, they rarely ever saw each other. The knight saw the lady as a sort of inspiration and as a symbol of a virtue. It was even common to be married and look to another lady for inspiration. This is because once the knight proceeded to go beyond a courtly love and take on the vows marriage, the lady lost all her meaning to him. She becomes an ordinary human to him. The reality of this made me apply a similar idea to our modern culture.

We love the getting more than the having.

What I mean by this is we are so driven to get something, but once that thing is finally attained, it's not long before it loses all charm. This can be seen in a lot of different ways. Take Christmas for example: We ask for various gifts of which we most desperately want, and yet, after a month or so we don't care about them. We want bigger and better things. Relationships are the same way. You start liking a guy or girl and almost instantly you're set on having him or her. Feeling progress and begin to grow, and you're wait to either make the move or for the other person to make the move. But once you've been with the person for a couple weeks to a couple years, you are discontent with them.

All the action and thrill is in the getting.

Sure, this may not always be the case, but it often is. We satisfy our needs in that moment (however long that moment may be) and move on. This is just food for the thought.

Seeing as how Thanksgiving is fast approaching, I hope everyone has a wonderful time with friends and family. Wish me luck, I'm preparing the entire Thanksgiving meal. I hope it's edible.


Anonymous said...

good luck on the dinner. :-)

This reminds me of a scene from the movie "Fight Club", where Marla Singer buys a bridesmaid dress at a thrift store for one dollar and she says, "Someone loved it intensely for one day -- and then tossed it. Like a Christmas tree, it's so special and then bam, it's on the side of the rode."

Good point, though.

Jocelyn said...

I'm sorry about your finals, I hope that you passed, that week sounds brutal, I'm glad you survived... my finals are just about to heat up! wish me luck... but good post! I wish relationships were easy...

Anonymous said...

Thanks! I remember how much you like POTO. I'm glad you think Cara's turning out ok. I am so excited because next week I introduce Emily!

Anonymous said...


the thing I hate most about it is when people find out they look at me like I'm undesirable #1.

Anonymous said...

It's mostly just this one girl who keeps asking me "have you been kissed yet?" "Got a boyfriend?" on a bi yearly basis. She lost her virginity in the eight grade and once threw a cup or ranch dressing at me. The only thing stopping me leaping at her and going all Sweeney Todd on her ass is she can get physically violent. But I find solace in the fact almost everyone in our grade hates her. :-)

Mandy said...

That's so true (relationships and christmas presents), I hope I still want my boyfriend as much after awhile, that is if and when I get a boyfriend, lol :)