Thursday, February 12, 2009

Honesty.



It is my personal opinion that if you want any relationship to work you must have honesty. Honesty is a hard thing: It doesn't come naturally to most people. Sometimes being honest with another person means stepping on their toes. I think it's worse to keep something from another person, then it is to tell them. At least if you tell the person, you can work things out. Can you do that if you keep what is bugging you to yourself? Absolutely not. Yet how come this is how most people are? They choose to tell everyone else except the very person the issue concerns. I read this book by Sarah Dessen called Just Listen (I strongly recommend reading it), and in the book was a boy named Owen. Owen was the type of person who is committed to telling the truth no matter the cost. I want more people to be like that.


Well you all know about my friend K. Prepare yourselves, you're in for a small rant. One night he called me, and it was so obvious that he was sad about something. I asked him what it was hoping I could help through whatever was bugging. He wouldn't tell me a single thing. I kinda got a little fed up with it cause I was already depressed and couldn't handle him being sad too. The next day he texts my saying he was happy: This made me happy too. But once we got on the phone, he wasn't happy at all. Again I asked him what was wrong, and pushed a little harder for information. All he would say is he was confused about stuff, The conversation ended quickly after that. For some weird reason I got the feeling his problem somehow involved me, which would explain why he wouldn't tell me anything.


I'm not one for assumptions, so I just tucked that thought away. I started talking to another friend, and eventually I spilled about my depressive mood and the enigmatic situation between me and K. I shared with him my idea. He said, "that's the other way i think it was going but i didn't want to mention it..cuz that's the way i am with you a lot of the time when I'm not happy. idk.." This immediately threw us into a conversation about honesty.


All I want is for people to be honest with me. Is that too much to ask for? It shouldn't be hard. Honesty is a part of communication, and without communication there is no relationship.



5 comments:

Lenore said...

you are so right. i really do not like it when people are not honest. although, I do it sometimes...Like when I say im ok, but I'm not. But, everyone does that!

xoxo

Wandering Child said...

Hazah! I'm finally able to come on here again! Seems like I missed a lot.

Anyway, yes honesty is the best policy, and I hate people who lie or lead you on and such. I hope things turn out okay.

Lenore said...

i sometimes break down and cry...over the dumbest things. But its ok to cry...cuz when there are no more tears left, life sorta goes on.

and its not stupid at all to cry over a guy. I've done it...sorta. ugh, stupid boys.

see, this is whay i like asian dudes, they are nice, and treat girls with respect, and they are sooo hot when they're punk-rocker-ish. haha, lol, sooooo random,But there are SOOOOO many asian dudes in Boston, and i have this thing for them. Just one of my moments...

oh, you are definately not spoiling a thing!!! in fact, its 1:30 am, I'm wide awake ((as always)) and i love staying on Blogspot. I'm having just as much fun reading your comments and all u have to say.

xoxo

Lenore said...

well, you are very right. you shouldn't get too attached. But sometimes, it just happens. I do that too. I'm always waaayyy too attached to people. *sigh* it ends up huting me, but i still don't wanna let them go. While they move on, I'm just standing right where we started.

and yea, i agrre about dudes in a different state. it can cause lots of problems.

I'm glad you don't go looking for guys. The thing is, one day, You'll just find him. And he will be like a dream come true.

But always remember: True love is not having a disney happy ever after, with no problems. It's over coming all your problems even if it's difficult. i had to learn that the hard way

((Oooh!!! that was my "Wise" moment of the day!!))

xoxo

The_Brain said...

I agree with you saying that honesty is the major component of any relationship but I have to add that it can also be the most difficult thing to do. See, I've been battling with social anxiety for quite some time now and It's really hard to open up even to the closest person you may have in your life.

My advice to you would be to give him some time to explain, and if after some time , he doesn't come through, just confront him with it, and tell him that no matter what problem he might have, you can help, trust me he will confide in you ( I may not like to admit it but direct confrontation has worked for me in the past).

I also agree with Lenore when she said you shouldn't get too attached. But sometimes, it just happens, but how do you want to know real love if you don't take a risk and just JUMP...Experience has taught us that it may painful most of the time, but when you find that real love you realize that it was totally worth it..