Saturday, June 13, 2009

18 Year Old Rebellion.


I didn't want things to get to this point so soon. In the words of my dad, "You're in a funk. What's wrong?" I paste a smile on my face and assure him that I'm just fine. No need to worry. Or is there? I've been really angry lately: Angry at everyone. Mostly at my parents though. It all started with me wanting to wear a pair of shorts; my dad almost had a heart attack when I was about to walk out of the house. This is when I discovered that having long legs are, in fact, a curse. So it looks like I'll be wearing jeans all summer. I'm just waiting for them to finally decide that skinny jeans are no longer appropriate attire as well. I don't see what the issue is; it's not like I'm going out of the house looking like a total slut or something. But my dad's reason is, "I'm doing this to protect you and your reputation." Eventually I'm might accept that. I know he probably means well.

Since then it's been a constant battle with everyone --or just my family. I miss being around everyone: I don't want to sit at home and just hang around the family. At the end of school, I thought it would be great not to have to see anyone until September. Wrong. The first week of summer break I spent everyday with friends from school. Now I'm look ahead thinking this is the only month I have to hang out with everyone. Starting in the middle of July, I'm moving in with my grandparents because of I job I got. I'll maybe come home on weekends. That really depends on whether or not I get a part time job at this kennel my sister works at. It already feels like I have to say good bye to everyone, and summer is ending.

Am I in a funk? Definitely yes.

Why am I angry? I really have no clue. I don't know. Is it possible to just be angry --to be sad for no reason? I think I'm using most of what I said at the beginning of this blog as an excuse, or using it as fuel for a fire that was already there. I've got to get over this somehow because it's now ruining the good start to my summer.


That was me a couple days ago. I've forgotten how bad my mood swings can be; now I'm happy and up beat and loving most everything. One thing I realized after I snapped out of my funk is how overrated 18 year old rebellion is. Do we expect anything to be accomplished by it? If you do, I'm sorry to say nothing ever is accomplished by being rebellious --at any age really.

My dad recently told me a story about this girl, who was angry at her parents because they wouldn't let her go out late at night. She went to her friend's house hoping to stay the night, but her friend's mother told the girl to go back home and, basically, obey her parents. The girl left her friends house with no intention of going home. In the neighborhood, she ran into the wrong guy: The girl ended up dead. Yes, this doesn't happen every time we're rebellious, but this is the exact thing our parents are trying to protect us from. So my not being able to wear shorts is probably one of the best things my parents can do for me.

This epiphany couldn't have come at a better time, but this doesn't mean I'm going to be the perfect kid in the meantime. I still have a long way to go, and I'm ready to work at changing. If I want to be considered and treated like an adult, I'm going to have to act maturely. Rebellion only shows your parents and the people around that you actually immature.


A little Princess said...

Well, it seems like I haven't learnt that lesson yet! You seem like the kind of person to learn from other peoples' mistakes, I wish I could do that! I have to go and make my mistakes like, a million times before a lesson is learnt! Have a fab weekend xoxo

Lenore said...

i kno exactly what you mean. My parents always annoy me...but then i realize its always for my own good! Except my dad...he's just really annoying :P

thanx for ur comment btw! I am actually alot better today :D why cant u eat ice cream??


Tragic Wonder said...

It is VERY possible to be sad or angry for no reason.
It sucks. But what doesn't? ;]

aivilo relluf said...

Thanks :D
Happy Belated 18th to you! That must be wicked exciting. Your anime drawings are beautiful.

Yikes, I'm sorry things with family have been rough. Parents are usually pretty conservative, but I think less can sometimes be okay in the summer, especially when it's sweltering hott. But you're right, parents usually do mean well :). I hope everything works out with family, and resisting the angry and rebellion. Plus I hope you get to see your friends a decent amount over the summer.

Have a good week!

Lenore said...

thanks for the comment :) I agree, "Live like you're dying" right?

At any second life could stop...but that makes me want to live life even more!! and i worry about my mistakes or time I've wasted...which is why I should always pray for a tomorrow

and thanks (about the pics) I was just in the car one night and got inspired...I really enjoyed writing that post even if it was short