Saturday, January 17, 2009


I seriously don't know why I put myself through competitions. I really can't handle them. Today was my first competition of the new year, and I was nervous as hell. I was doing good this morning and not really thinking about my competition, which allowed me to eat breakfast for once. Usually I'm too nervous to eat anything, so I don't until 5 or 6 in the evening. That all changed once I got to the competition. I started to shake and felt nauseous. I had to dance five different dances: Four highland and one national. The highland dances were brutal especially because they're long dances (six steps). I totally butchered my sword, and I really don't know what happened (I hate that dance).

The outcome: I placed in one dance. I was just thankful I survived all five dances because the whole time I felt like throwing up (that wasn't just because I was nervous). I'm still a newbie to the Premier level: I'm just starting my second year. And everyone I dance against has been dancing since they could walk. I started dancing late, which means I was pretty old by the time I got to Premier (not good). Plus they all know each other, and well I don't talk. Odd one out once again haha.

There's a workshop tomorrow from 10-1, but I'm not sure if I'll go. I'm exhausted right now.


Lenore said...

hehe, if you go to my older posts, you'll see pictures of the dress. You'll find one that shows my dress and saying that I chose to buy it. lol its very child-like and sweet, and I seriously do get wierd looks from people, but I dont care. Its a japanese sort of fashion.

And thanx. I really do believe that dating is something beautiful and should be serious. And, lol at our parents being strict. I always had this Theory, that there was like a secret Mom society. There are just too many cooincidences....

and I know how you feel, about the odd one out. Every time I joined a team, or dance class, I was always new, and everyone knew eachother. Ugghh....I feel bad just thinking about it... D=


Jocelyn said...

that is tight! I want to dance like that! I tap, but how long have you been dancing?

cady x said...

Ooo, awesome! I used to compete in dance sometimes. I remember how nerve-wracking it is. Bleh.

Yeah, really, really clingy. I've been ignoring him except for when he tries to tickle me or put his arm around me. Then I yell at him. LOL.

cady x said...

Oh. And the show I'm in right now is a Broadway revue. I think, in a way, they're easier on the cast than ordinary shows.

Lenore said...

haha..I love the dress. I'm going to try to get more lolita dresses...I want my whole closet to be lolita!!

and, yes. Heart-ache does make us very much more mature. After I had my share of heart-ache, I realized that somehow, Life was different. And I felt different. I felt like, I understood everything way more. Its strange. But at the same time, Beautiful.

haha, dont worry, I love long comments! and that is sooooo true, that we kiss lots of frogs before we find our prince. Theres this song that says "My hearts a battle ground" basically, love is not all fuzzy, like in all the movies. Its only fuzzy after you've worked hard at it, and theres that connection.

Oh god, HIS song is on. haha, this song he likes...I was just chatting with him. I know were just friends, but when we talk, he keeps sayin things like "Mwah! luv you!" and i think, maybe we have one of thise wierd, twisted, somehow romantic friendships. Hard to explain...

If you've read the Twilight books, its like Bella and Jacob...but we dont hold hands =P

i wonder if he's like this with all his friends...i think so...

how are things for you?


Lenore said...

well, they are sorta reasonably priced...If u get the amazing ones from Japanese botiques, they're like, 200, or 300 dollars!! but from the place that I get them, it was about...60, or 70 dollars usually...

Lolita is basically a japanese fashion that is about frilly dresses, tea parties, old-fashioned elegance, cildhood innocence and such. lol. But thers also, Punk Lolita, Sweet Lolita, Guro

i think, im Gothic Lolita...
but i'd like a Sailor Lolita outfit, and the punk lolita is cool.

anyway, i once read this manga, and there was this old man and this guy. the guy was on a journey, trying to decide his feelings. he didnt know weather he loved his girlfriend or this lady that he has loved for some time. He didnt want to hurt his girlfriend, and he was rejected by the lady, she loved him as a friend. So the guy was staying with this old man.

one day, the old man gave him these noodles and said "there is this thing each year where they give an award to the best noodles in Japan" (yea, ther in japan). So the guy said "cool!" and he tried some. But they were nasty...

"haha, they suck." the old man said. "i bought them from the super market next door, and ther expired"

"EEWWW! how could u play such a mean trick!!" the boy said

"haha...i never said that THESE were the best noodles." said the old man. "Its just like this girl that rejected you, You imagine her as something special in your mind. She seemed so special, so thats how you saw her. But You've never gone out with her, you never saw her cry, or show her bad side. Go through the hard stuff first, THEN say ur in love. But ur girlfriend now, she supported you, even with the lady who rejected you. She is the one whose beside you and truly wants to be. You've been through hard stuff with her and made it through. SHE is the one who's truly important to you. why cant you see that?"

A week later, the boy went home. You can guess who he chose in the end. :)

I feel that story really makes sense. Like when you said, u need to be experienced to really be able to say ur in love. Thats one of my favorite stories.

haha, sorry for the loonnngg comment!! =P

And I relly hope things get better for you. About ur long distance friend...well, i know how u feel. Like I said, i moved just as HIM and i were becoming friends. But who knows? maybe its just meant to be this way.