Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Problem With Being a Pushover.


Disclaimer: I'm sorry if these "relationship" blogs bug anyone. Hopefully this will be the last one.

I'm a pushover. The whole thing about giving second chances has nothing on me. I give more chances then anyone I know. I was resolved to stop talking to P all together, and my sister thought it was best. But then he started chatting online with me, and that was it. I just asked him if he even liked me anymore, and his response was he thought it was best if he was friends with me cause he didn't want to lose me. He told me he loved me. And I melted. I just can't get over this feeling of being used, and at the same time not wanting to let him go.

I don't know why I'm willing to let some guy hurt me again. I'm either setting myself up for something that could be really amazing or end up destroying me. I just wish there was some way of know whether or not I'm actually being used or if he actually likes me as much as he says he does. I just can't seem to let him or anyone else for that matter.

At the moment, I'm waiting for him to call me. The ironic thing would be if he never did call me. Figures.

12 comments:

Lenore said...

well, when he does call you, u should explain to him how you feel. That this is hurting you alot and that this makes no sense if he doesnt wanna lose you. It's not fair to make yourself suffer like this. If he really does love you, then he souldnt want to hurt you and he should listen to you.

Speak Your Mind
even if your voice [ s h a k e s ].

Hmmm...I wonder who said that...

=D

believe in yourself. Unless you REALLY talk to him, then this will just grow inside of you and hurt you even more.
Be Strong. Its hard, but you can do it
strength is something you choose.

xoxo

Wandering Child said...

good judgement comes from experience. experience comes from poor judgement.

Lenore said...

yep, captive hearts is very interesting. I just finished volume two. soooo romantic, lol.

and also, I know this must be very hard for you. Especially when he says he doesnt want to lose you. But like you said, there's the risk of him using u. Im not sying he is though. But why dont you give the whole "not talking to him" another try. Tell him straight out that this is hurting you too much and its hard for you to talk to him. Ask him if he doesnt wanna lose you, then why is he hurting you? By not talking to him, you're showing him that he is in fact losing you like this. And if he really doesnt want to lose you, then maybe things will get sorted out.

Dont let people hurt you like this. It's really not worth it. Someday everything will be awesome, and you'll realize that the whole relationship thing doesnt have to be painful. :)

xoxo

Wandering Child said...

No, it made me feel worse because I'm not one of those.

Luna said...

I think it's funny. OMG! SLIDING KITTY!

Wandering Child said...

Oh I know the feeling all to well.

Red said...

You are not a push over, you were/are vulnerable. It's not easy trying to get past the initial emotion and find the real reason we feel the way we do. But try this. And it still may not work, but bear with me.

If a friend of yours came to you with her problem (which sounds very similar to yours...wink wink) how would you advise her. What would you tell her to do. And inasmuch as that would be painful for you to hear. Take your own advise.

Cursed♪♫ said...

Aww..
I hate being used too. I know how you must be feeling! Take Care ! And be careful about your decisions !

Wandering Child said...

I showed this to one of my (male) friends and I asked if this was true and he said no. I don't know if he was being sincere.

Lenore said...

thnx for the comment!

well HE is...this guy i liked (loved) but now, my feelings arent as strong, but i think they're comin back <3

i miss him :( i moved just when we became really great friends. i was crying, and he comforted me, stroked my hair, and gave me a hug *sigh* i was sooo sad to leave home. But he only sees me as a close friend. somehow, i like it like that....for now

xoxo

Wandering Child said...

Well, in all fairness women can be sexist too. Ever hear the expression "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world?"

Lenore said...

well, we do talk often.
you know...Facebook. We chat for hours an i just recently sent him this videogame that he wanted and this candy that we cant get at where i used to live. Now its all "I love you!!! Thank you Hun! the games great!!!"

haha...but i know he just looks at me as a close friend. He's alot older than me, so he's probably not interested. And, im not so into dating right now. But I really care about him

I have some certain songs I listen to that remind me of him. And sometimes I wish and pray, that once in a while, he remembers me when he looks at the moon, or hears one of those songs.

xoxo