Thursday, October 2, 2008

October Madness

I have no clue what's going on with me anymore. I feel so withdrawn lately, and I don't just want to blame it on lack of sleep or too much homework or something like that. My Rhetoric teacher asked my friend and I if something was going on because we didn't seem to be our usual selves. This was probably more directed towards me because my teacher has the uncanny ability to always sense when something might be wrong in my life. I hadn't really thought much about how withdrawn I felt until she asked. Of course, then I started racking my brain trying to find a reason why. What's more annoying then not being able the express yourself when something is wrong, is when you can't really explain to yourself what's going on.

Well, I guess an update of what's been going on with me is in order. School takes up 95% of my time, but so far I'm surviving. I recently dropped my WA State History class in favor of an American Lit class. I'm happy with my decision, and it looks like it will be an great class. I had the dreaded picture day this past Wednesday at Connections. Yeah...I've haven't taken a good school picture ever. Oh well I guess. Maybe my pictures will turn out better at my other school's picture day. Oh, another thing I decided on doing is cutting my hair off yet again. Right now it's the longest it's ever been in a year, but it's really annoying. It's nice when it curls right, but that isn't very often (yes, I have naturally curly hair). If I do cut my hair off (hopefully this weekend), I wont be able to put it up for my competition = /.

Ugh. Ok so not only am I taking on 11 classes, but I also play mom at home. My mom is working two jobs just to make ends meet, so she's never really home any more. This morning she was running around the house yell at me for not keeping things cleaner. WHAT THE HECK DO YOU EXPECT?! I don't have all the time in the world to make sure the house is absolutely spotless. And it's not like I get that much help from anyone else. I'm doing my best... I try to get dinner on the table every night, and I try to keep up on the laundry, and I try to clean the house as best I can. But I can't stress this enough, I really don't have a lot of time. Now my dad has a second job. Things get worse before they get better, right? I sure hope so.

Well I have a three day weekend this week that is going to be filled with homework...oh joy.


Anonymous said...

Yeah it did help. Thank you so much.

I know how you feel. Like Everything's going so fast and crazy and you can't keep up and you feel like you're drowning and just want to yell "STOP!" Luckily, eventually, it will. Even if it takes awhile it WILL stop.

Skippy said...

Don't feel bad, every school picture I've ever taken is the topical toothpaste add smile, my parent think they're endearing...I just think it's cheesy. But I love the pics you have of yourself on your blog, maybe you can pull a James Bond and sneak it in as your school pics!

Red said...

Find your groove and your groove will find you.

Make yourself a schedule of sorts and see if you can follow it. 1 hour for math, or whatever you feel the need for, and see if that helps.

~*Live2Love2Laugh*~ said...

i hope you find the source of your emptiness. recently i found mine! and i'm sooo thankfull. but i'm working on turning the empitness into fullness. we'll see. and YES things do get worse before they get better.

Anonymous said...

I finished The Blue Hour! Eee!!

Nicole Linette said...

Ughh.. I didn't order pictures last year but I did now and they turned out horrendous D: haha. I don't know if I want to do retakes or not. Don't worry though, everyone has issues with those..

Holy eleven classes?! =:O That's insanity. AGHH I hate it when parents pressure you to tidy shit and it's just like.. okay school's out and I finally have time to myself so just let me lie around, ya know? So lame :(

It's just a slump. Don't worry, you will jump back.


Krosemarie said...

wow. Thats crazy. I get that way sometimes, it's tough. this is a great blog!


Spell Writer said...

wow... you really have a lot on your hands, i really hope things get better for you, but o the up side i've read some of your other posts and you seem pretty awesome ^^ i know just how you feel though about a lot of things ^_^""" especially about being "mute" (i was teased a lot for that in middle school)

ericka lee said...

How do you manage 11 classes. :(
Believe it or not, but I really admire that. I can hardly handle my 9 classes, soon-to-be maybe 10.
And I know what you mean by "playing mom at home". I'm sort of in the same situation. My mom works two jobs and she's barely home. But we're trying to work it out. Not really happening but the thing is, we're working together to work it out and that makes it feel so much better.

Anonymous said...

Of course no one can do all that. The point is he's not generic and can think outside the box, that's why I'd accept him for being creative in something as boring as a plea to get into college.